You are discouraged and possibly suffering from ministry burn-out. If you build a great ministry with the vision God has given you, they will come. And you realize you don’t even want to come anymore.
Leaving a church under difficult circumstances, whether it is because of a difference of opinions, God’s call elsewhere, or other reasons, is heartbreaking. Even leaving one that wasn’t healthy for me anymore, has been one of the most painful and haunting experiences of my life.