I’m tucked away in my writing nook on this beautiful fall morning. My sinuses are rebelling against the rest of my face causing a throbbing effect, but my heart is full. Well, maybe half-full if I’m going to be honest.
And it has been such a long time since my heart has felt anything but empty.
Recently I said goodbye to someone who is very dear to me. For almost 9 years, she’s walked with me through the darkest of times. She helped me work through issues and fear and I’m a stronger person today because of how God used her in my life. We said goodbye on September 29 and I sobbed for the rest of the day. I randomly cried in the weeks leading up to those final moments together. And now I feel the ache of her departure from my life. I miss her warmth, her honesty, and how she encouraged spiritual growth in my life. Very rarely do people touch in our lives in such a way and there is a hole when they leave.
I have a hole in my heart.
But God–two powerful words–is filling that hole with Himself. He is calling me nearer to Him and I’m reluctant to bask in His comfort. I’m angry that He took her away. I want to live life with open hands, trusting that God will use absolutely everything for my good and for His glory. I believe this! Yet it’s hard to accept it.
The hole is slowly filling in because wounds usually heal–sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly and sometimes never at all. With this type of wound, I have a choice. I choose to heal. I choose to care about others knowing that they could one day disappear from my life through death or circumstances.
When I started writing this post, I thought I would tell you about my new house, my new ministry (Share Beauty Project), or offer some scriptural insight. However, that’s not what I needed to write and I suppose that’s not what you needed to hear.
Let’s give our hurts to God. Let’s allow Him to heal those holes in our heart. Through Him, let’s love others, even if it hurts.