I Trust You, Jesus

I try to trust Jesus, especially when it's spooky.

A lot of times I review a book, throw it on my shelf, and move on to the next book. Not so with Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, which I reviewed last year (read review).  Written as though God is directly talking to the reader (to me), Jesus Calling is a 365 day devotional that has changed me.  I began using Jesus Calling at my ladies Bible study as a way to usher us out of our hectic lives and into a holy conversation with God.  It was amazing how each reading seemed to touch everyone in the room…and somehow address every circumstance with which we were dealing.

For 2011, I made the commitment to take my time with God more seriously, making the study of Scripture a priority.  I also started to read Jesus Calling every day.  The book is helping me to see my faith in new ways and it challenges the status quo of what has become a stagnant love relationship with God.

One passage read that in all situation God wants out first reaction to be one of trust.  It read (paraphrased): “When trouble arises, immediately I want you to say, ‘I trust you, Jesus.'”  Such a simple statement, yet so profound.    I’ll say I trust Jesus or God to get me through, but really I trust myself and God.  We make a great team.  Here’s the thing with God–He’s all about His glory.  I often get in His way because I want to do things my highly imperfect way.

Really I have two choices–to trust God or not to trust God.  Therefore, it could save me a lot of pain to trust God, to immediately respond with “I trust you, Jesus.”  And then five minutes later I have to say, “I trust you, Jesus,” again.  And so on and so forth.  As I sink into unbelief, I must quickly pull myself out by reaffirming my trust in Jesus.  My prayer goes something like this, “I believe; help me overcome my unbelief.  I trust you, God. I trust you, Jesus.”  What it lacks in eloquence, it makes up for in sincerity.

Lately I’ve found myself saying, “I trust you, Jesus” in a lot of situations–driving through a foot of snow to get my mom to the hospital by 5 AM for her hip replacement surgery, sitting through the surgery, dealing with my own health and mental health issues, financial problems (my Sallie Mae loan drama), and even simple tasks like interviewing my friend, Josh Wilson.  Sometimes I have to say it 50 times, sometimes more, yet somehow it’s getting easier to have my first reaction to be one of trust.  It doesn’t mean I don’t freak out, cry, get scared and all that other jazz.  Instead I cry as someone who has hope and trusts that her Abba will work in the situation.  I know that in my own strength I will fail, yet I have the hope that God will carry me through.

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