Letters to My Self, Part 1

6 Apr

Sometimes I write myself letters because I know what is true and yet my heart won’t accept it.  Letters have a way of reminding me what is true, even if they are for me by me.  I’ve been writing letters to myself or to God or to others for years (many of which I never send).  I was surprised to learn that Henri Nouwen did the same thing in his book, The Inner Voice of Love.  I was given this book as a special present, and I treasure it.  I highly recommend you get this book, even if you’re not a big reader.  Nouwen’s short journal entries have the ability to pierce your heart with their vulnerability.  You’ll be surprised at how often you think the same things as Nouwen.

Anyway, I recently write myself this letter, which I’ve decided to share because I bet there are a lot of you out there who are wondering if you are enough, if you are loved, and if you matter.  I know a lot of people use the term “Beloved” when referring to God’s people, but for me it holds a special meaning.  My name, Amy, means “beloved.”  Whenever the term “Beloved” is used, I feel like it’s God’s special name just for me.

Dear Beloved,

You don’t have to be perfect.  Yet day after day, you try so hard to be what you can’t.  You live in a fallen world where imperfection is the norm.  You will make mistakes, and that’s OK.  God’s grace and mercy covers your shortcomings.

Words like accomplishment, success, award seem so out of reach and failure, second best, and not good enough flood your vocabulary.  You’re so down on yourself despite finding so much beauty in the world.  How can you find beauty in nature and not see the wonders that lie within you?  Don’t you see that you are captivating because God created you that way?

Don’t be angry at God, Beloved.  He is not the cause for all your heartache; your Abba is the one who longs to hold you through the pain.  He wants to wipe every tear away, and He promised He will.  He promised you, beloved!  God never, ever breaks His promises.  You must remind yourself of this, even when it does not seem true.  You must hold on to the truth so that you will not be swayed by the wind.

O, Beloved, I know you have a long way to go and you’re frustrated that you’re not “there.”  But once you get “there” you’ll want to be somewhere else.  Today, you are enough and you are sufficient in God’s grace.  Don’t steal tomorrow’s grace, but savor His mercy today.  You are enough—not because of what you do, but who you are in Him.  You are a princess in exile and your Abba is King of all.  Remember who you are and that you are enough.

Love,
Amy

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No Responses to “Letters to My Self, Part 1”

  1. GA Girl Living in Los Angeles April 6, 2009 at 1:39 PM #

    “Not because of what you do, but who you are in Him”

    Thank you for sharing your Gift, Amy

    I’ve been reading through different entries ever since I stumbled across your site to read a Chris Taylor entry…

    You are a gifted, thought provoking and entertaining writer -and you make me laugh out loud at times, too.

    But most of all, I feel closer to Him when I read what you have written.

    Thank you and God Bless you abundantly!!! 🙂

  2. GA Girl Living in Los Angeles April 6, 2009 at 1:43 PM #

    p.s. Have you ever heard of the book “Streams in the Desert” ??

    It contains daily devotional entries… lots of books do… but this one is special.

    k. that’s all for now.

    Have an awesome day

    • Amy April 11, 2009 at 11:59 AM #

      I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never read it. I think there was a comp CD that went along with it that I did own. There was this great Jaci Velasquez song on it….I wish I could remember the name of it. So good.

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