It’s no secret; I’m turning 29 on Monday. But what makes this a confession is how I feel about it–and I’m taking it hard. I wish I was one of those girls who could smile and say, “Well, hey, at least I’m in my 20’s one more year.” However, I’m much more erratic in my response, which is more like, “Omigosh! I’m going to be 30 in a year and I don’t have a husband or kids yet!”
I know marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be—it’s hard work. I just always thought I would be married by the time I turned 29, so I wouldn’t have to worry about being 30 and single. True, I could meet a fabulous gentleman in the next year, have a whirlwind romance, and a quickie marriage, but I’m not even sure I want that. I don’t want to be married by 30 just to be married by 30; I want an amazing marriage to a guy who beckons me closer to God.
Being single at 29 isn’t the only thing on my mind. When I imagined what my life would look like, I didn’t imagine this. I didn’t imagine struggling with depression/anxiety or worrying about finances or wondering if God still listens to my small voice. I thought I would be strong, confident, with enough money and enough faith to sustain my life.
Plus, I wonder am I old or young? Like is it still OK for me to play Guitar Hero or should I move on to only Scrabble? (Or what if I play Scrabble on a Nintendo Wii—is that acceptable?) Do I have to dress differently once I turn 30? What about how I need to act—does that change? Is there something I need to do during the next year to prepare for 30? I feel like there’s some big cosmic secret the 30-something’s are hiding from me, and I don’t know what it is.
I know that people will tell me that turning 29 (and 30) isn’t that big of a deal; it’s just another milestone in this journey called life. Yet it feels like a really big deal because it reminds me of everything I haven’t accomplished—things I can’t just go out and do! I’m reminded of what I’m not and what I still want to be. What happened to all those years when I could have done something? Or did I just do the best I could at the time?
The funny thing is that raking up another year isn’t that big of a deal. Time is all relative and God is beyond time. My mother told me that God doesn’t care if I’m 15 or 29 or 52; He’ll use me at any age. And thinking about it, Jesus didn’t even start His earthly ministry until He was around 30 (and He never got married!) See, I’m just trying to be like Jesus…literally.
I’ll get through my birthday and it’ll be oodles of celebratory fun. I’ll still be the same woman I am today at 28 than I will be on Monday when I turn 29. And really, age is just a number, right? Right. Just bear with me if I keep turning 29 for the next 5 birthdays or so; I’m not sure I can handle 30…yet. Then again, I don’t have to because I’m only turning 29. Yay for me! I’m still in my 20’s!
She is Beloved 
oh honey, the 30s are the new 20’s…. (or so they say) … now that i’ve hit 40, (and managed it safely) …. i’ve discovered that every decade is difficult….
The 30’s ARE the new 20’s.
I’m way cooler at 32 than I was a 22. Trust me! I now officially call myself a writer, I have fabulous life-long friends, and I love where I live!! Also, at 32, I have accumulated a lot of great stories to tell.
I had a lot of issues with turning 30… A LOT! But Ryan took me to Mexico with a bunch of friends and that was the perfect way to ease the blow. I highly recommend it – but you’ve still got a year!!! Enjoy29! I’ve been turning 29 for the past 3 years!!
Happy, happy Birthday!
~Heidi
Hope your Birthday is happy despite any lingering freak-out moments. 🙂 I ask some of the same questions–thankfully I’m still 28, too, and have a little bit more time before 3-0.
Thank you! Someone has finally written and article describing exactly how I feel. I turned 29 two weeks ago and like you I always thought I would be married with kids etc by 29. I had some of the same feeling you describe in the first few paragraphs of your article.
You mom is right, God will use you at any age. Thanks for sharing. I now have a different perspective on being 29 and single.
This article is soo on point. I turn 29 the day after Xmas this year. At first I thought I had this all figured out (aging). I’ve been in denial, anxious, sad and more. This article was very helpful (the shit) lol. Thanks!!!
Girl i am just reading your article now like 2 years later!! I am turing 29 tomorrow and i am married no kids as yet it will be one year in august since we got married. I also feel ooh my word i am almost 30 with no kids. So i guess the feeling is the same to all women turning 29!!
Lisa, I’m 31 now–still single, no kids. But you know what? It’s OK. Happy birthday, BTW!
Wow that is an awesome article, I am turning 29 next week and wanted to read something exactly like this!
Saloni, my best friend (BFF Sarah) is turning 32 on August 21. She’s *REALLY* old. (I’m 31 now, by the way.)
This is describes me to a T! I’m turning 29 in 2 days and I have been wondering the same things about how I should act now and if I have to start shopping in different stores or if I can still listen to indie music. For some reason I feel like I should be wearing more designer-ish clothes and being more sophisticated. It all feels very confusing. Hope you had a great birthday anyway and good luck figuring out this strange time in life : D