Right now, I’m munching on celery. Mostly because I’m hungry and it’s a negative calorie food. Yup, it takes more energy to consume and digest than the empty calories contained in the stalk. You’d think we weight-conscious Americans would be downing the vegetable by the bagful. You would think, wouldn’t you?
However, there’s a problem with celery—it’s unpleasant. It doesn’t taste great, it’s stringy tentacles get stuck in my teeth, and it’s texture is bizarre. In fact, the only way I can scarf the stuff down is by putting peanut butter on it or dipping it in salad dressing, thereby making a negative calorie food a positive calorie food. Leave it to me to take something healthy and turn it on its head.
Of course, it’s not as bad as the vanilla yogurt we have in the fridge, which has Butterfinger crumbs in a special container on the lid. Ooooh, crunchy! Nothing like adding a smashed-up candy bar to bland ol’ yogurt for a boost.
So I’m trying to add more fruits and vegetables and other healthy adult foods to my diet, but it’s hard. Actually, fruits aren’t a problem. I love fruit—of all types. I could land on a desert island, eat fruit all my days, and be a happy girl. Of course, my blood sugar would shoot way up and I’d go into a diabetic coma, so my days, though happy, would be numbered. Plus, it’s time to act grown up and eat like an adult.
Buuuuut, I just don’t like vegetables. Some vegetables are both raw and cooked like carrots and mushrooms (which is technically fungus). Other vegetables like corn and broccoli taste better when cooked. But when vegetables aren’t cooked correctly (too hard or too soft), they’re gross. Plus, apparently we’re cooking half the nutrients right out of ‘em.
Salad. Salad’s a good choice, right? Leafy greens, carrots, mushrooms, those little mini-corn cob things that I don’t eat but look really cute, cheese, ham cubes, bacon bits, some diced eggs, and lots of salad dressing. Lots. Because low-cal and fat-free salad dressing is gross. And those leafy greens can be better tasting, so best to stick with some safe Romaine and iceberg lettuce. Now my chef salad has become a messy clump of supposedly healthy fat. Good grief! I might as well get a Big Mac at McDonald’s and save myself the misery.
I’m not going to do that. I’m going to keep trying to eat better because I want to be feel good about myself and more importantly, live a healthy lifestyle. I have to admit that changing my life for the better this past month has been exhausting, and yet I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. I feel better about myself and I’m more connected with others and with God. I’m still a work in progress (like always until the day I die), but at least I am making progress with my work. Look at that, my celery is finished. I guess it wasn’t so bad. Sigh. I wonder if we have any carrots.