18 Month Egging Spree Ends in Arrest

Only in Pennsylvania would you have a couple of “adults” (age unknown) go around egging houses for 18 months causing over $7,000 worth of damage (full story). Apparently it all started when the couple, Philip Fleck and Heather Darcy were egged by their friends, so they retaliated. However, to cover up their little prank they decided to egg other houses to keep ’em guessing…I guess.

Can you imagine how many eggs one must throw to cause $7,000 worth of damage?

I, for one, have never egged anyone. Here’s why:

1. It’s a terrible waste of a perfectly good egg.

2. This mean kid at my Christian high school egged my house once in 9th grade and it made me feel terrible. Really terrible.

3. It’s really lame. I mean, who says, “Gee, I’m going to go throw eggs at people’s house” instead of making a meaningful contribution to society? Idiots, obviously.

4. Eggs are a pain to clean up and as we’ve seen can cause damage.

5. There are starving kids in other countries would who be darn happy to eat that egg!

6. You can get arrested for it, and perhaps (though it’s unlikely) do some jail time. Imagine sitting around in the slammer with real criminals. Of course, no one belongs there (or so they say), but you all start discussing your charges. The guy next to you is a pimp, another is a bank robber, the third is a repeat offender with a rap sheet a mile long, and you–you are the egger. Yeah, trying building cred among the criminal population with that story.

Egging is not only stupid, a waste of food, and unamusing; it can also get you a cell with a guy named Tiny (who’s not at all tiny) who likes to cry in his sleep. Next time, just go make some egg salad.