Until I saw this news article, I had no idea that Mia Tyler existed. Captivated by the title of a plus-sized model who wanted to commit suicide, I decided to give the article a looksy. Apparently Aerosmith’s Steve Tyler has another little girl besides actress Liv Tyler (who is one of my favorite actresses) and she’s coming out with a book called Creating Myself: How I Learned That Beauty Comes in All Shapes, Sizes, and Packages, Including Me. I’m sort of bummed that it doesn’t come out until August 26 because it’s on my must-read list.
Mia with her dad, Aerosmith’s front man Steve Tyler
Mia and I have a lot in common–we’re both models, daughters of famous rock stars, plus-sized, blue-eyed, writers, think Liv Tyler is cool, and former self-injurers. OK, so I’m not really a model or the daughter of a famous rock star, but the other stuff is true. When I look at photographs of this woman, I can’t believe that she would see herself as anything but beautiful. Yet I know her struggle all too well.
I remember staring at my fat bulges in hatred as I willfully cut myself, scarring my body forever. Like Mia, I remember thinking I would be better off dead because no one could love this ugly girl. Unlike Mia, my hope didn’t (and doesn’t) come from a phone call from MTV asking me to be a VJ (although being a MTV VJ would be pretty fly), it comes from God.
I’ve mentioned before that I thought God hated me for being fat, and defiling this temple I carry around planet earth. It’s OK if other people do things to defile their temples like smoke or drink or clog their arteries or whatever, but not me. I am completely devoid of grace on this one. Or so I thought. If I’m honest, I still wrestle with it in my mind. I’m working through it.
Mia and I have one more thing in common–we’re both beautiful. Really.