Buy a Bill Cosby Sweater

Bill Cosby should have modeled this sweater instead of just pointing at it. That would have been so much cooler. Look at him wearing a completely normal light grey shirt.

“The Cosby Show“–who can forget that piece of television history? Well, if you’re missing the days when the Huxtables ruled primetime, you can always pick up DVD’s of the classic show on Amazon.com. But if you really want to own a piece of Heathcliff Huxtable (Bill Cosby), you can head over to Ebay.com and bid on one of his fashionable and garish sweaters.

This is my favorite ugly sweater. I think it would look great on Simon Cowell.

Make sure you’re ready to max out your credit card because these three beauties start out at a mere $5K with the money going to benefit Hello Friend/Ennis William Cosby Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to the educational needs of “early learners.” The auction runs from June 2-June 12.

My dad owned a sweater like this in the 80’s…or maybe it was my mom. Well, whatever, someone did.

These sweaters make great gifts for that Bill Cosby fan in your life, for Father’s Day, or even the simple “I-thought-you-could-use-an-ugly-sweater.” In fact, you could be the hit of the next Ugly Sweater Party you attend. Yes, there really are things called Ugly Sweater Parties (just Google it and see what comes up). It’s what all the Christian kids on college campuses due instead of getting wasted, stone, and sexed up. It’s a very fun alternative. Unfortunately, none of those kids could afford a Bill Cosby sweater and folks over 30 probably wouldn’t find an Ugly Sweater Party all that funny.

Heck, if I shelled out this much money for piece of clothing, you darn right I’d have a party celebrating my purchase. The best part is that you have to be pre-approved to bid on one of these sweaters–no one has bid on one yet though. I wonder why. I mean, you could go down to the local thrift store to buy threads just as hideous and tell people it was a sweater worn by Bill Cosby. Who is really going to get into an argument with you about that?

Scene: Ugly Sweater Party

Random Person: Wow! That sure is one ugly sweater!

You: Thanks! It was worn by Bill Cosby on an episode of “The Cosby Show”.

Person: No way!

You: Way!

Person: There’s no way that sweater was worn by Bill Cosby on an episode of “The Cosby Show.” You’re a bold-faced liar and a cotton-headed ninnymuggins to boot!

You: Yes , it was! And I have the certificate of authenticity to prove it! (Pull a fake-o certificate you made yourself on your computer and present it to doubter).

Person: I can’t believe I ever doubted you. Can you forgive me? I’m such a terrible person. I should go stick my head in the Smoothie blender.

You: Yes, you should. Fare thee well, doubter.

See, the above scenario would never happen, and even if it did, your unauthentic certificate of authenticity would win out in the end. My advice: slap down $3 on the counter of a second-hand shop and get yourself an ugly sweater for impromptu social gatherings. And if you really want to spend, say, $5000 instead of $3, go buy yourself the genuine article on Ebay.