Sarah Ruined the Prophecy!!!

20 May

Today Sarah (best friend/roomie) and I jointly received a prayer rug from St. Matthew’s Churches in Tulsa, OK. The letter was personally addressed to “Resident”. Inside the envelope was a “prayer rug” which was a piece of paper with a freaky Jesus face on it (apparently a plethora of others have gotten these letters, some of which were also addressed to “Resident”)…

You can’t read the text under the picture of the napping Jesus, so I’ll tell you part of what it says, “Look into Jesus’ Eyes you will see they are closed. But as you continue to look you will see his eyes opening and looking back into your eyes.” Freaky! I don’t want paper prayer rug Jesus looking into my eyes. Despite my misgivings, I tried it anyway. I stared at this paper for a good five minutes and NOTHING happened. I’m a little disappointed in my prayer rug. After kneeling on the prayer rug to pray (I don’t feel right kneeling on Jesus’ face), I am to check off my prayer requests on the handy dandy enclosure to be mailed back to St. Matthew’s along with my prayer rug (aww, man, I was gonna see if any of you wanted it).

I suppose you can check off as many prayer requests as you want. It starts like this, “Yes, I do need the Lord’s blessings upon my family and me! Pray for my family and me for…”

Ready? Here they come….

“My Soul, A Closer Walk With Jesus, My Health, A Family Member’s Health, Confusion In My Home, My Children, To Stop A Bad Habit, A Better Job, A Home To Call My Own, A New Car, A Money Blessing, I Want to be Saved. Pray for God to bless me with this amount of money $ ________” Yeah, you can really fill in the blank about the amount of money you want. If you put in $600 and you’re eligible for the economic stimulus payment, your prayer will be answered!

If you return this form AND the prayer rug, you can get a FREE Deuteronomy 8:18 Prosperity Cross, plus you can throw in a seed gift (monetary donation) for God’s work (so more “Residents” can be blessed). You’re supposed to shove all this in a postage-paid envelope and mail it back to St. Matthews the next day. Then, and only then, can you open the prophecy also included.

Well, Sarah, had to go ruin everything by saying something like, “What’s this thing?” and tearing open the sealed prophecy. Now, of course, the prophecy is ruined. It even has a picture of Jesus ascending into heaven on it–that’s how you know it’s the real mccoy. Like many “prophecies” and readings from fortune tellers, this “prophecy” is purposely vague…so I guess I can’t harbor too much bitterness against Sarah for opening it and ruining our lives.

I’m all about praying for people, but this is a little bizarre. Plus all the illustrations and pictures on the “promotional” brochure look like they’re from the 1970’s. You can visit this church online at www.aboutstmatthewschurches.com and read testimonies from people who used the prayer rug and were blessed (including one woman who received $46,000). I’m telling you, it’s a real humdinger of a site.

Have any of you received these bizarre letters?

Advertisements

No Responses to “Sarah Ruined the Prophecy!!!”

  1. Myalou May 20, 2008 at 4:26 PM #

    Myfriend, Tom from Bible Study, got one a few months back!

  2. pistolpete May 21, 2008 at 6:32 AM #

    Truly bizarre. What will they think of next?

  3. Jen May 21, 2008 at 2:15 PM #

    See, now I’m totally devastated. They send it to you, halfway across the country, & not me, the person who lives in the same state.

  4. Wendi May 22, 2008 at 5:48 PM #

    I’m keeping my paper Jesus. I can’t imagine sending him back to such horrible people. Besides, he goes well with the blacklight!

  5. Amy May 23, 2008 at 8:42 AM #

    Haha! I hope you and Paper Jesus have many a good times together 🙂

  6. jenn May 23, 2008 at 2:29 PM #

    i just typed “freaky paper jesus rug” or something like that into google to see if anyone else could share this experience. i feel obligated to send it back…like there is some sort of vodoo or something on it! ugh… people are nuts!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: