A Screechy Night on AI

16 Apr

Poor Simon! I think they should add me to the panel.

When I heard that Mariah Carey was this week’s mentor on “American Idol”, I knew it could only spell disaster for most of the contestants. I mean, really, “Mariah Carey Night”??! What were the producers thinking? Or maybe it was a Randy Jackson decision since he and Mariah are so tight (kind of like Mariah and her shirt. I thought her cleavage was going to come popping out any second).

David A. is just so dang cute!

“Mariah Carey Night” started on a high note with David Arculeta belting out “When You Believe”. In his clip about working with Mariah, David gushed, “I’m not worthy to be in her presence.” How endearing is that little cutie? (Living Room Score: 10)

Carly Smithson–what a mess that was! Her rendition of “I Can’t Live” was a train wreck from the first note. She sang too long for her vote, did an OK job at the chorus, but then she made one of her weird faces (you know, she pulls her lips back revealing her teeth. She looks like a vampire about to bite someone’s neck). Simon said that she didn’t pull it off, to which the tone deaf audience booed. (LRS: 4)

Out of all the contestants, I knew this could be the week that Syesha could shine. Singing her little heart out to “Vanishing”, she did a great job…even Simon said it was good. (LRS: 8)

Next was dear, dear Brooke, who took on “Hero” tickling the ivories as she went along. It’s one of those things that you know won’t go well, but you hope it will. She started out good, lost her confidence, and went flat. The poor thing was quivering as she finished up her song. So what does Simon say? “It was a bit like ordering a hamburger and only getting the bun.” The look on Brooke’s face broke my heart, and I think the audience felt for her. So because Simon was mean to Brooke and we love her so, her Living Room Score is 11 (plus she played her own instrument). And as Sarah, my best friend, roommate, and fellow “American Idol” fan pointed out, “She’s a nice girl. Simon compared her to a hamburger. That’s just not nice.”

After Kristy Lee Cook performed (LRS: 6), Paula commented, “All the girls look beautiful tonight.” Translation: “Man, the girls really suck tonight.”

Once David Cook took the stage, I was like, “Wow, he’s hot.” I swear that man increases in attractiveness every week. He sang “Always Remember Me”, which is a song I hate. Despite the horrible song choice, David C. did an amazing job, especially vocally. His stage presence is incredible and his hair was just great. That guy is the whole package. Then after receiving rave reviews from the judges, he did the thing that so many women find attractive–he cried a little. It was in a manly, touching way that makes girls swoon. It may have been contrived, but yes, I’m buying it…what I’m not buying is the song on iTunes (LRS: 9.25).

Then there was happy-go-lucky Jason Castro. I still can’t look at that kid without cracking up. After performing “Don’t Wanna Cry”, Randy said, it was like being “at a weird luau with beach music in the distance.” Paula said she wanted to be at that luau, and Simon…agreed! (He just wanted to see Paula in a bikini…I know what’s up!) The Living Room Score for Mr. Casto–6.5 (The .5 was Sarah’s fault because she gave him a whole point higher than me).

The Davids did the best performances of the night, Syesha was notable, and Brooke–just vote for her, OK? However, I think that the most vulnerable contestant this week is Carly…we’ll see if she goes home tomorrow night.

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