Mimi from “The Drew Carey Show” was confident, eccentric, and the take charge-type…and she ended up with Drew’s brother, who liked to wear dresses…hmm…
I was only checking my e-mail…honest. You know how web-based e-mail is–tantalizing little articles pop up on the site’s main screen and well, sometimes, you’ve just got to click ’em. So I did. The topic–how to be irresistible to men.
Let’s face the facts–I’ve never been all that good in the dating/love department and I am turning 28 next week. Frankly, I need all the help I can get. According to this article based on the book Simply Irresistible by Ellen T. While, here’s how to be irresistibly you (with colorful commentary by yours truly).
1. Exude confidence (or fake it if you don’t have any. Always start relationships off pretending to be more than you really are or just be confident in the fact you’re boring).
2. First impressions matter (so don’t blow it)!
3. Wear perfume or “your signature scent.” Interestingly enough, I once heard that guys dig the smell of cotton candy and lavender–try making those your signature scents. No one likes a gal who goes au natural.
4. Be eccentric (translation, “Be an individual in a world of posers”. Although if you’re being individualistic for the sake of being different, isn’t that sort of like being a poser?)
5. “Accentuate the exotic.” Or get a tattoo so you can be more exotic. Whatever works.
6. Grow your hair long…really long, like Rapunzel, so if you’re ever trapped in a tower, a guy can climb up your locks to rescue you. Ever wonder why she didn’t lob off her hair and make a rope to get herself out of the tower?
7. Seduce him with words…use your “bedroom voice”. I’m sure that’s what Delilah did, and look where it got Samson. Ish. They have 900 numbers for that sort of thing.
8. “Make him the center of the universe.” Treat him like a Greek god he thinks he is. Uh…barf.
9. Be brilliant in conversation. I’m not sure if you use this tip in conjunction with #7, but I do believe it would ruin the whole “brilliance of the conversation” thing. I actually like this tip.
10. Get smartitude. Apparently guys like girls in glasses…hmm…maybe I should trash my contacts. I do wear my glasses a lot though.
11. “Set the erotic stage.” Moving right along… (Not until you’ve got a wedding band on my finger, bucko!)
12. Take charge in the
bedroom laundry room…like throw some dryer sheets in his load or show him how to fold his socks. Nothing sexier than a lady folding socks!
And unlucky #13…Think more like a man…right.
In conclusion, the tipster writes, “The less you need him, the more irresistible you’ll be.” Am I missing something? Didn’t I just learn to make him the center of my universe and grow my hair long for him and talk to him in my bedroom voice to
bait please him? Now all of a sudden I don’t need him anymore? No wonder men think women are so irrational–see, I’m thinking more like a man already.